Sifoddlin an Gommin
Buster dun up an took off in hisn ole Ford an jes decided ta jes take a looksee fer tha weekend down Texas way. Buster figured he could git Jessie an Walter an Howard a loose from thar chores as he had a way with thar mas an pas.
When he got tha boys thay asked him jes whar exactly thay was a goin. Buster says ta em that thar was a place that had sum kinda exotic amimals he wanted ta see, an seein as how Howard always had a hankerin ta fool with any kinda critter an Jessie an Walter wantin ta stop ever five minutes; he jes knowed thay’d be up fer this lil jaunt.
Tha place was called “The Safari Park” an was posed ta have ever kinda durn critter ya could imagine. On down towards Dallas way tha boys found a pretty nice lake an as it was a mite warm; thay decided fer a lil swim. Tha boys found a right nice spot an shucked them clothes faster tha a body could say scat an jumped right on in.
Thay was havin a high ole time a splashin an divin an swimming in tha heat of tha day when thay dun seen sum fellers off a bit a hollerin. Boy, was one of em kickin up a ruckus. The boys all had on thar swimming togs an thay skeedaddled over ta whar them other fellers was. The one that was a really hoopin an hollerin was in sum kinda pain it seemed. The boys with him dun dragged him up on tha bank an was a tryin ta beat sumthin offen that feller. When tha boys cum up on em, one of tha boys hollered ta git a stick or a knife or sumthin ta help em. Well now, when Buster, Walter, Howard an Jessie took a looksee thay liked have spit out thar teeth, I tell ya. A danged catfish dun bit on ta this feller’s private part an jes wouldn’t turn a loose. Durn catfish went bout 3 pounds or so thay reckoned. Musta smarted sumthin awful. Buster took off a runnin back ta his Ford whar he had a hatchet so’s he could whack that dang catfish ta git him a loose from that feller. When Buster got back an run on over ta whack that catfish; that feller’s eyes got bigger than a pie plate, I tell ya! He was a hollerin not ta cut it off; jes don’t do it. All of em thar held tha feller down an tole him thay was jes gonna whack tha catfish. Howard tole Buster ta let him do it as he knowed how catfish was an whar ta whack him. Well, ole Howard eyeballed that thar catfish an whopped him good with tha handle an then whacked off his tail. That catfish let a loose an begin ta floppin round an then Howard dun him in fer shor. Kilt him dead as a mackerel. That feller was bit up sum an bleedin too but didn’t seem ta be in too bad a shape considerin tha pickle he was in. Them other boys loaded him in thar car an said thay was a gonna take him ta tha doctor an see that he was fixed up. Reckon that feller won’t be skinny dippin any time soon, I tell ya. Reckon he larned his lesson bout that.
After all tha excitement, tha boys got ta gittin dressed an danged ifn Buster wadn't a hollerin an doin tha St Vidas Dance like a Whirlin Dervish. He dun sit on a stump an whilst he was a putting on his drawers, a bunch of ants took ta bitin his behind. Boy was he ever hoppin bout! Well, Walter dun jes bout busted a gut a laughin an jes fell right down on tha ground a rolled round like a dog scratchin fleas. What ole what Walter didn’t know was that he was in a pizen ivy patch. Larned that a lil too late, I’d say. Guess he was a payin a price fer laughin at Buster so hard. Weren’t so funny when he begin ta scratchin!
Anyhow, thay loaded up an headed fer town ta git Walter an Buster sum Calamine Lotion at a local drugstore fer tha ant bites an pizen ivy. Normally Jessie an Howard didn’t take ta laughin at a feller’s misery but this was plain too funny ta hold it in. With Walter a scratchin ever which a place an Buster a squirmin in his driver’s seat after them ant bites; it was a sight fer shor.
Tha boys stopped fer sum ribs an fixins at Salt Lick Barbeque. This was a place thay’d heared bout outside of Austin an thay put in a place thar in Dallas. After a good meal, thay was bout ready fer bed. Course Buster an Walter wouldn’t git much sleep but Howard an Jessie said thay would. Early that morning, Jessie an Howard went out fer sum vinegar an oatmeal. Thay put Walter in tha tub with tha oatmeal an Buster in tha other tub with tha vinegar. After a spell sittin in tha tubs, Walter an Buster said thay was feelin almost as fit as a fiddle. Tha ant bite swellin an itchin went down considerable an Walter’s pizen ivy wadn't quite as bad as it was. Seems he didn’t git that bad a dose of it fer sum reason.
All of em found a right nice lil café with grits an gravy; biscuits from scratch, aigs, beefsteak an silver dollar flapjacks with pecans. All tha boys ate thar fill an lit on out ta see them critters Buster dun heared bout.
Buster drove em round bout 20 miles in tha back country till thay cum ta a sign directin em ta a Visitor’s Center. A feller met up with em all decked out in sum kinda African getup. Weren’t Black though; took him ta be Mexican or Arab. Anyhow, tha feller give sum rules ta foller an took thar money an tole em ta take thar time an see tha critters in tha Park .
Buster was a drivin real slow like an all of em was a takin in tha sights. Thay was a seein all kinds of animals from Africa or thar bouts. Thar was elephants, an rhinos, lions an all manner of antelope. Heck, thar was critters thar tha boys couldn’t even name. It was hotter’n blazes in that Texas sun so them critters musta felt right at home. Jessie up an tells Buster ta stop at that bush over on tha rise cause he dun had too much coffee an needed “a pause that refreshes” as Coca Cola says. Jessie got on out an was gone jes fer a lil spell, as was ta be expected, but then all of a sudden he cum a runnin with this here critter a flappin an peckin on him like a duck on a June bug. Jessie hollers ta Buster ta git his gun an shoot that durn thing; it was a harmin him sumthin fierce! That thar bird cum a flouncin an flappin at Jessie from a tree limb above. That bird musta had a nest nearby or sumthin cause it took it real personal like, upset an all, with Jessie peein on that bush. Tha boys was a laughin till thay was a cryin. As Howard opened tha truck door ta let Jessin on in, well, bout that time, as Jessie dove inside tha truck, this dang funny lookin bird cum up an latched on ta Howard’s nose an wouldn’t turn him a loose. Now if that didn’t beat all! Jessie grabbed tha door handle an shet tha door an knocked that bird offen Howard’s nose. That jes had ta hurt real powerful bad but was funny as all git out.
When thay got back ta tha Visitor’s Center; thay tole that feller in that African getup that he had tha meanest critters thay ever did see.
Maybe thay didn’t take kindly ta being took from thar home in Africa or sum sich reasonin cause thay shor was fractious round folks jes drivin thru. Buster said it would shor be huntin season ifn thay got on him; didn’t matter ifn he could eat em or not, or what thay tasted like!
After tha boys got back on inta tha house at Buster’s grandpa Gus’s place, all of em said it was one of tha durnest trips thay ever had, bar none. Buster’s grandpa Gus asked em all how it went down thar in Texas . Well, thay allowed tha food was right good but tha hospitality of them critters wadn’t nuthin ta write home bout. First off, that dang catfish dun bit that feller; then them big red ants bit Buster’s behind; Walter dun laughed so hard he fell inta a pizen ivy patch; one of them peacocks went ta peckin Jessie as he was doin his bizness, an last but not least; Howard got his nose bit whilst gittin Jessie in tha truck. Ostrich, thay called it. Biggest dang bird Howard ever did see. Howard said ifn that bird hadn’t a turned a loose of hisn nose he was gonna git Buster’s shotgun an shoot him daid. Course that wadn't like Howard an his dealins with critters but his nose shor took a beatin, I tell ya. It was redder than a beet an twice its size.
Reckon this is jes another lil ditty in tha life of tha boys. Thay do have sumthin up thar sleeves an we’ll hear from em real soon fer shor. Soon as all of tha doctorin an scratchin is dun.
When he got tha boys thay asked him jes whar exactly thay was a goin. Buster says ta em that thar was a place that had sum kinda exotic amimals he wanted ta see, an seein as how Howard always had a hankerin ta fool with any kinda critter an Jessie an Walter wantin ta stop ever five minutes; he jes knowed thay’d be up fer this lil jaunt.
Tha place was called “The Safari Park” an was posed ta have ever kinda durn critter ya could imagine. On down towards Dallas way tha boys found a pretty nice lake an as it was a mite warm; thay decided fer a lil swim. Tha boys found a right nice spot an shucked them clothes faster tha a body could say scat an jumped right on in.
Thay was havin a high ole time a splashin an divin an swimming in tha heat of tha day when thay dun seen sum fellers off a bit a hollerin. Boy, was one of em kickin up a ruckus. The boys all had on thar swimming togs an thay skeedaddled over ta whar them other fellers was. The one that was a really hoopin an hollerin was in sum kinda pain it seemed. The boys with him dun dragged him up on tha bank an was a tryin ta beat sumthin offen that feller. When tha boys cum up on em, one of tha boys hollered ta git a stick or a knife or sumthin ta help em. Well now, when Buster, Walter, Howard an Jessie took a looksee thay liked have spit out thar teeth, I tell ya. A danged catfish dun bit on ta this feller’s private part an jes wouldn’t turn a loose. Durn catfish went bout 3 pounds or so thay reckoned. Musta smarted sumthin awful. Buster took off a runnin back ta his Ford whar he had a hatchet so’s he could whack that dang catfish ta git him a loose from that feller. When Buster got back an run on over ta whack that catfish; that feller’s eyes got bigger than a pie plate, I tell ya! He was a hollerin not ta cut it off; jes don’t do it. All of em thar held tha feller down an tole him thay was jes gonna whack tha catfish. Howard tole Buster ta let him do it as he knowed how catfish was an whar ta whack him. Well, ole Howard eyeballed that thar catfish an whopped him good with tha handle an then whacked off his tail. That catfish let a loose an begin ta floppin round an then Howard dun him in fer shor. Kilt him dead as a mackerel. That feller was bit up sum an bleedin too but didn’t seem ta be in too bad a shape considerin tha pickle he was in. Them other boys loaded him in thar car an said thay was a gonna take him ta tha doctor an see that he was fixed up. Reckon that feller won’t be skinny dippin any time soon, I tell ya. Reckon he larned his lesson bout that.
After all tha excitement, tha boys got ta gittin dressed an danged ifn Buster wadn't a hollerin an doin tha St Vidas Dance like a Whirlin Dervish. He dun sit on a stump an whilst he was a putting on his drawers, a bunch of ants took ta bitin his behind. Boy was he ever hoppin bout! Well, Walter dun jes bout busted a gut a laughin an jes fell right down on tha ground a rolled round like a dog scratchin fleas. What ole what Walter didn’t know was that he was in a pizen ivy patch. Larned that a lil too late, I’d say. Guess he was a payin a price fer laughin at Buster so hard. Weren’t so funny when he begin ta scratchin!
Anyhow, thay loaded up an headed fer town ta git Walter an Buster sum Calamine Lotion at a local drugstore fer tha ant bites an pizen ivy. Normally Jessie an Howard didn’t take ta laughin at a feller’s misery but this was plain too funny ta hold it in. With Walter a scratchin ever which a place an Buster a squirmin in his driver’s seat after them ant bites; it was a sight fer shor.
Tha boys stopped fer sum ribs an fixins at Salt Lick Barbeque. This was a place thay’d heared bout outside of Austin an thay put in a place thar in Dallas. After a good meal, thay was bout ready fer bed. Course Buster an Walter wouldn’t git much sleep but Howard an Jessie said thay would. Early that morning, Jessie an Howard went out fer sum vinegar an oatmeal. Thay put Walter in tha tub with tha oatmeal an Buster in tha other tub with tha vinegar. After a spell sittin in tha tubs, Walter an Buster said thay was feelin almost as fit as a fiddle. Tha ant bite swellin an itchin went down considerable an Walter’s pizen ivy wadn't quite as bad as it was. Seems he didn’t git that bad a dose of it fer sum reason.
All of em found a right nice lil café with grits an gravy; biscuits from scratch, aigs, beefsteak an silver dollar flapjacks with pecans. All tha boys ate thar fill an lit on out ta see them critters Buster dun heared bout.
Buster drove em round bout 20 miles in tha back country till thay cum ta a sign directin em ta a Visitor’s Center. A feller met up with em all decked out in sum kinda African getup. Weren’t Black though; took him ta be Mexican or Arab. Anyhow, tha feller give sum rules ta foller an took thar money an tole em ta take thar time an see tha critters in tha Park .
Buster was a drivin real slow like an all of em was a takin in tha sights. Thay was a seein all kinds of animals from Africa or thar bouts. Thar was elephants, an rhinos, lions an all manner of antelope. Heck, thar was critters thar tha boys couldn’t even name. It was hotter’n blazes in that Texas sun so them critters musta felt right at home. Jessie up an tells Buster ta stop at that bush over on tha rise cause he dun had too much coffee an needed “a pause that refreshes” as Coca Cola says. Jessie got on out an was gone jes fer a lil spell, as was ta be expected, but then all of a sudden he cum a runnin with this here critter a flappin an peckin on him like a duck on a June bug. Jessie hollers ta Buster ta git his gun an shoot that durn thing; it was a harmin him sumthin fierce! That thar bird cum a flouncin an flappin at Jessie from a tree limb above. That bird musta had a nest nearby or sumthin cause it took it real personal like, upset an all, with Jessie peein on that bush. Tha boys was a laughin till thay was a cryin. As Howard opened tha truck door ta let Jessin on in, well, bout that time, as Jessie dove inside tha truck, this dang funny lookin bird cum up an latched on ta Howard’s nose an wouldn’t turn him a loose. Now if that didn’t beat all! Jessie grabbed tha door handle an shet tha door an knocked that bird offen Howard’s nose. That jes had ta hurt real powerful bad but was funny as all git out.
When thay got back ta tha Visitor’s Center; thay tole that feller in that African getup that he had tha meanest critters thay ever did see.
Maybe thay didn’t take kindly ta being took from thar home in Africa or sum sich reasonin cause thay shor was fractious round folks jes drivin thru. Buster said it would shor be huntin season ifn thay got on him; didn’t matter ifn he could eat em or not, or what thay tasted like!
After tha boys got back on inta tha house at Buster’s grandpa Gus’s place, all of em said it was one of tha durnest trips thay ever had, bar none. Buster’s grandpa Gus asked em all how it went down thar in Texas . Well, thay allowed tha food was right good but tha hospitality of them critters wadn’t nuthin ta write home bout. First off, that dang catfish dun bit that feller; then them big red ants bit Buster’s behind; Walter dun laughed so hard he fell inta a pizen ivy patch; one of them peacocks went ta peckin Jessie as he was doin his bizness, an last but not least; Howard got his nose bit whilst gittin Jessie in tha truck. Ostrich, thay called it. Biggest dang bird Howard ever did see. Howard said ifn that bird hadn’t a turned a loose of hisn nose he was gonna git Buster’s shotgun an shoot him daid. Course that wadn't like Howard an his dealins with critters but his nose shor took a beatin, I tell ya. It was redder than a beet an twice its size.
Reckon this is jes another lil ditty in tha life of tha boys. Thay do have sumthin up thar sleeves an we’ll hear from em real soon fer shor. Soon as all of tha doctorin an scratchin is dun.
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