Tha Trickster
Now that tears it! The ole pot callin tha kettle black! Agin! Didn't I tell ya that boy Walter was a mess! Come ta find out he dun showed out sumthin fierce. What a pistol that boy is. Here is jes a few thangs he dun congered up an let fly. Now that big brother Mike done heared bout Walter's tale on brother Kelvin, he said he jes couldn't let it go by without tellin on sum of Walter's hijinks. One time a gal thar in Groom went a lookin all over tha place fer Walter. How this cum to be we'll never know, but he dun put a dead calf in the back of her station wagon car an she was a lookin fer him to git on outa thar. Tha critter dun smelled up that car so bad ya couldn't ride in it. Flies dun blowed that carcass an skippers was a crawlin ever which a place. Jes down right disgustin! Kinda like down at tha Dryer when beans was left out in tha augers in tha rain an ya had to scoop out tha rotten beans with skippers ever whar. Thay dun that out on tha farm too, a bunch a times. Then thar was tha time Walter an one of them Brittain boys, Stanley it was, was up on tha top of tha grocery store chunkin maters and aigs at folks. Jes splittin thar sides thay thought it was so durn funny. Po-Leece feller thar in town thay used to razz cum by an asked em ifn thay dun seed who was a throwin aigs an maters at folks passin by. Thay said heck no but thay would help him try to find tha ones that did it an jumped right on in that Po-leece car an rode off with him an here it was it was them all along. Thay used to devil that pore feller sumthin awful. Walter an Stanley or that other Brittain boy Chris would go inta tha Ranch House Cafe an see that Po-leece feller thar an sit down with him an eat a bite. When it cum to pay, one of em would say he would pay an then the other un would say he would git tha check an then the Po-leece feller would say he would git it an then both tha boys would say OK and git up an go, leavin that feller to pay tha bill. That feller never did catch on thay say. Then thar was times thay would see that ole boy thar in tha cafe and when he would git up to talk to sumbody or go to tha outhouse, Walter would put butter or syrup or any thang else thay could find to mess up his britches when he sit down. That Po-leece feller never did figure out it was ole Walter an them Brittain boys. One Saturday Walter was up to a rodeo thay was havin thar in town an he run up to that feller and tole him to trade hats with him quick! Said he didn't want nobuddy to recognize him. Now it was never tole if Walter dun sidled up to sum gal an got her all ditherated or pulled sum prank on one them boys down from Claude that wanted to give ole Walter a poke. One thang we know is he dun dun sumthin. Well oldest brother Mike never did git in too many scraps an tha like but was said he never did lose one that was knowed of but oncet Walter dun got Mike a sore jaw for shor. Believe it was a ball game an Walter got into it over sumthin or tha other. Mike an Kelvin was thar an when Walter, not weighin more a 120 pounds at that time, was bout to git a whoopin from sum fellers, waded right on in ta tha fracas. Ya jes couldn't git on one of them Ollinger boys without gittin on tha others ya know. Kelvin jumped on outa tha truck, the one he dun throwed that motor out of, an Mike started gittin out of tha other side when sum feller landed a upper cut smack dab on tha button on his jaw. Course tha fight was on and thay won but Walter was always stirrin tha pot Mike said. Ole Kelvin shor nuff did his share but Walter was a pistol too he said. Nother time Miz Ollinger was bakin sum pies fer Sunday dinner an a viewin over at Widder Sims place. Sumbuddy dun switched out tha sugar for salt in tha sugar bowl! Well now Miz Ollinger baked all day long and when she was dun she tasted one of them pies an it was purely awful. She throwed out every one of them pies an tha hogs wouldn't even eat em. She got ole Mike by tha ear an scolded him proper. Mike said mama "I didn't do it" but she reckoned he did fer sum reason. Well, Mike jes knowed Walter dun dun it. Course Kelvin coulda but he liked pie too well to mess up a good pie fer dinner on Sunday.
Later on in years when Walter was asked bout all that he jes grinned but wouldn't admit to nothin. But, ya jes know he dun it. Mike said to this day his mama thought he put that salt in tha sugar bowl. So I reckon we see Walter t'weren't no angel an dun come by bein a trickster fer good reason. Seems like ole Kelvin wasn't tha only one to git inta mischief. Playin a trick on Walter's Pa was puttin yore life in sum kinda danger, ceptin fer Kelvin that is. The time Walter an you guessed it, one of them Brittain boys, stole a bunch of "Road Closed" signs and sawhorse barriers from tha city. Well, let's say borrowed not stole, none of them boys would steal anything. Anyhow thay dun put up them signs an sawhorses on every road thay could find round thar place. Tha next day thay was ta herd sum cattle down tha road to a new pasture an when thay started to push them cows an thay cum up to one of them barriers thay would turn back on Walter an his Pa an tha other boys. Well, headin off them cows was shorly a chore don't ya know an his Pa was madder than a wet hen. He was fit to be tied an was a going to tha city and tha county an see what durn fool dun put them signs an barriers up to block tha roads. Don't rightly know how Walter got outa that one but I suppose he did cause he didn't git a thrashin that day from his Pa. Them days shor nuff left a little hide skunt here an thar an give em all a bit of a reputation but made fer sum memories that nobody in tha town of Groom will ever fergit. Cum ta think of it, tha whole county too. Nobody ever heared of a bad thang bout them Ollinger gals that thay ever did, jes that thay was downright purty as a sun kissed rose at sunrise with dew a sparklin an all. Thay jes purty much jes helped thar mama and other folks that needed it an was doin church work too.
I am darn shor we will find out a whole lot more of Kelvin's and Walter's tricks an what thay was up too. Why Kelvin was even married up to Deb an still showin out! Last thang we heared on Walter was when him an Benny Brown was travelin with Buster on a trip out West. Well, thay was stayin at this motel fer a few days an Walter and Benny dun bought themselves 2 motorsicles. Harley Davidson's thay was. Thay went a ridin that afternoon and Buster went on back to his room as he was a feelin poorly like. Buster had ta pick up Jessie at tha airport later that afternoon an was gonna take a lil nap fore he did. When Buster got to tha door to his room an put in his key an opened tha door a bit; two loud shots was fired! Buster thought he was back in tha war, I tell ya! Like to had a heart attack right then an thar! Hit tha ground and was hollerin "Lock an Load". Tha wimmin at tha front desk cum a runnin an was wonderin what in tha world was a happenin. Cum to find out Walter and Benny dun sneaked in tha back door and rigged up sum fireworks so's thay would fire off when Buster opened hisn door. While all that poppin was goin on; streamers of all tha rainbow colors was shootin off all over Buster's haid and his person an thar was a mess to boot. Jes goes ta show ya Walter ain't growed out of it yet. Well, he better keep one eye open I tell ya. Buster will git him one day, don't you worry none bout that. Like I say, Buster and Jessie never was like that but Howard shor is. Never will fergit tha tale of Buster an Walter roamin round on another trip thay took out West agin. Wasn't a room to be had in 150 miles. Thar was this ole boy thay knew that met up with em in Salt Lake and drove up to tha mountains with em bout 4 hours out when thay cum ta this lil town. Got late so's thay started lookin fer a place ta light fer tha nite. As I said, jes none to be had an then Buster finally talked this feller inta a place he had out back with two bedrooms. Walter said he would walk an thay could find a place ta park. Well, that took a while an when thay finally cum to whar the room was Walter was walking round outside. Thay all went inta the place an the back bedroom didn't have no electric plugins so's Buster couldn't plug up his breathin machine so he had to sleep in tha front room. Seein hows thar was only two beds an 3 fellers, sumbody had to share.
Shor nuff it was Buster an Walter. That other ole boy was bout 6'7" or 6'8" and Walter dun went in an short sheeted that bed. Never heared such caterwaulin! That boy dun tore all them bedclothes offen that bedstead! Buster dun crawled up inta the bed with Walter an he was a hollerin don't touch me! Get a loose! Buster said, why you crazy durn fool can't you see I'm hooked up to this breathin machine an can't even turn over! Walter finally shucked his britches an hunkered down in tha bed. Buster looked over at Walter an asked him what in tha world are ya a doin? Walter was a flat of his back an had hisn ball cap pulled down over his eyes, crossed arms an all. Buster said he ort to jes ball up on his haid an line him out. Tole him ta turn out tha lights but Walter tole him not to tell anybody bout all this room sharin bizness. Buster said look Walter; how long I knowed you an how many times we slept over all these years? Don't be nuts! Lil Lynette don't care. Walter said what would people think; Buster said thay ain't here stuck in tha middle of nowhar with no bed neither, so jes go ta sleep. Next mornin that long, tall ole boy was up an at em first off. He said he went to sleep a sweatin an it was so stiflin hot he couldn't even breathe. Cum morning he seen icicles hangin from tha ceilin. He dun asked Walter what he dun dun cause he had to pull all them bed clothes offen his bed an like ta froze. Walter dun cranked that air conditioner up ta high an pointed an directed tha air right straight on that ole boy. No wonder he was froze. What a nite! Buster said he slept jes fine an tole em, let's git sum breakfast. But that ball cap of Walters was sumthin else; said he had to keep one eye open but he didn't; jes snored all nite. Lil Lynette said now Buster knowed what she had to put up with ever nite. Buster tole her Walter shor didn't keep his feet warm an she said he didn't hers neither. What a trip. Course thay been on sum good uns over tha years. Till Walter gits in more mischief. But that's another story.
Later on in years when Walter was asked bout all that he jes grinned but wouldn't admit to nothin. But, ya jes know he dun it. Mike said to this day his mama thought he put that salt in tha sugar bowl. So I reckon we see Walter t'weren't no angel an dun come by bein a trickster fer good reason. Seems like ole Kelvin wasn't tha only one to git inta mischief. Playin a trick on Walter's Pa was puttin yore life in sum kinda danger, ceptin fer Kelvin that is. The time Walter an you guessed it, one of them Brittain boys, stole a bunch of "Road Closed" signs and sawhorse barriers from tha city. Well, let's say borrowed not stole, none of them boys would steal anything. Anyhow thay dun put up them signs an sawhorses on every road thay could find round thar place. Tha next day thay was ta herd sum cattle down tha road to a new pasture an when thay started to push them cows an thay cum up to one of them barriers thay would turn back on Walter an his Pa an tha other boys. Well, headin off them cows was shorly a chore don't ya know an his Pa was madder than a wet hen. He was fit to be tied an was a going to tha city and tha county an see what durn fool dun put them signs an barriers up to block tha roads. Don't rightly know how Walter got outa that one but I suppose he did cause he didn't git a thrashin that day from his Pa. Them days shor nuff left a little hide skunt here an thar an give em all a bit of a reputation but made fer sum memories that nobody in tha town of Groom will ever fergit. Cum ta think of it, tha whole county too. Nobody ever heared of a bad thang bout them Ollinger gals that thay ever did, jes that thay was downright purty as a sun kissed rose at sunrise with dew a sparklin an all. Thay jes purty much jes helped thar mama and other folks that needed it an was doin church work too.
I am darn shor we will find out a whole lot more of Kelvin's and Walter's tricks an what thay was up too. Why Kelvin was even married up to Deb an still showin out! Last thang we heared on Walter was when him an Benny Brown was travelin with Buster on a trip out West. Well, thay was stayin at this motel fer a few days an Walter and Benny dun bought themselves 2 motorsicles. Harley Davidson's thay was. Thay went a ridin that afternoon and Buster went on back to his room as he was a feelin poorly like. Buster had ta pick up Jessie at tha airport later that afternoon an was gonna take a lil nap fore he did. When Buster got to tha door to his room an put in his key an opened tha door a bit; two loud shots was fired! Buster thought he was back in tha war, I tell ya! Like to had a heart attack right then an thar! Hit tha ground and was hollerin "Lock an Load". Tha wimmin at tha front desk cum a runnin an was wonderin what in tha world was a happenin. Cum to find out Walter and Benny dun sneaked in tha back door and rigged up sum fireworks so's thay would fire off when Buster opened hisn door. While all that poppin was goin on; streamers of all tha rainbow colors was shootin off all over Buster's haid and his person an thar was a mess to boot. Jes goes ta show ya Walter ain't growed out of it yet. Well, he better keep one eye open I tell ya. Buster will git him one day, don't you worry none bout that. Like I say, Buster and Jessie never was like that but Howard shor is. Never will fergit tha tale of Buster an Walter roamin round on another trip thay took out West agin. Wasn't a room to be had in 150 miles. Thar was this ole boy thay knew that met up with em in Salt Lake and drove up to tha mountains with em bout 4 hours out when thay cum ta this lil town. Got late so's thay started lookin fer a place ta light fer tha nite. As I said, jes none to be had an then Buster finally talked this feller inta a place he had out back with two bedrooms. Walter said he would walk an thay could find a place ta park. Well, that took a while an when thay finally cum to whar the room was Walter was walking round outside. Thay all went inta the place an the back bedroom didn't have no electric plugins so's Buster couldn't plug up his breathin machine so he had to sleep in tha front room. Seein hows thar was only two beds an 3 fellers, sumbody had to share.
Shor nuff it was Buster an Walter. That other ole boy was bout 6'7" or 6'8" and Walter dun went in an short sheeted that bed. Never heared such caterwaulin! That boy dun tore all them bedclothes offen that bedstead! Buster dun crawled up inta the bed with Walter an he was a hollerin don't touch me! Get a loose! Buster said, why you crazy durn fool can't you see I'm hooked up to this breathin machine an can't even turn over! Walter finally shucked his britches an hunkered down in tha bed. Buster looked over at Walter an asked him what in tha world are ya a doin? Walter was a flat of his back an had hisn ball cap pulled down over his eyes, crossed arms an all. Buster said he ort to jes ball up on his haid an line him out. Tole him ta turn out tha lights but Walter tole him not to tell anybody bout all this room sharin bizness. Buster said look Walter; how long I knowed you an how many times we slept over all these years? Don't be nuts! Lil Lynette don't care. Walter said what would people think; Buster said thay ain't here stuck in tha middle of nowhar with no bed neither, so jes go ta sleep. Next mornin that long, tall ole boy was up an at em first off. He said he went to sleep a sweatin an it was so stiflin hot he couldn't even breathe. Cum morning he seen icicles hangin from tha ceilin. He dun asked Walter what he dun dun cause he had to pull all them bed clothes offen his bed an like ta froze. Walter dun cranked that air conditioner up ta high an pointed an directed tha air right straight on that ole boy. No wonder he was froze. What a nite! Buster said he slept jes fine an tole em, let's git sum breakfast. But that ball cap of Walters was sumthin else; said he had to keep one eye open but he didn't; jes snored all nite. Lil Lynette said now Buster knowed what she had to put up with ever nite. Buster tole her Walter shor didn't keep his feet warm an she said he didn't hers neither. What a trip. Course thay been on sum good uns over tha years. Till Walter gits in more mischief. But that's another story.
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