Boys Will Be Boys
When Buster an tha boys went ta church on Sundays; thay’d switch off purt near ever Sunday ta each other’s church thar ma went ta.
Now Buster was at tha First Christian Church but his grandma an grandpa Gus were Catholic but weren’t no Catholic church round bout them parts thar so thay went ta tha Methodist one with that new Smith feller that was preachin. Jessie dun went ta tha “Presbyterian or Episcopal church dependin on which side of tha family took him on Sunday’s. Howard was a Southern Baptist outrite an Walter’s people was all Catholic.
On this particular Sunday, all tha boys met up at tha First Christian Church with thar mamas an other kin. Thar was sum kinda goins on thar an so folks all got together fer this hear special meetin. Now I have ta say that sum of tha men folks did make an excuse or two not ta go ta church on Sunday’s but this wadn’t one of em.
Right off tha boys dun sneaked off ta tha balcony. Ya see tha First Christian Church has a balcony fer overflow thay say but weren’t nuthin but a place fer younguns ta git inta mischief. Well Buster gathered up tha boys an up thay went. First thang was Buster a showin all of tha boys whar thay kept tha communion wine. Back then it was real wine, Mogan David fer shor. Thar was crackers too in that closet an Walter dun had a hankerin ta taste that wine. Howard up an grabbed a bottle an popped tha top. As y’all know, tha boys knowed what white lightnin was all bout so a lil wine weren’t nuthin. Heck fire, Buster’s people all made wine an home brew! Well, thay all figured that nobody would ever miss a lil wine so all of em sit right down thar an had lil snort. Well, them crackers looked mighty tasty so thay ate sum of them too as Howard an Buster was a mite peckish. That ole Mogan David got ta tastin purty good an seein as how thar was several cases in that thar closet, tha boys figured nobody would be none tha wiser ifn thay had a lil. Jessie got ta readin a ditty that cum with tha wine; it was inside tha box.
It said, “Oh yes, this is THE source of the national known and touted yet locally obscure MD 20/20 (fka: Mad Dog 20/20). With multiple interesting flavors, Mogan David's concoctions will precipitate a quick onset of general drunkeness, a massive sugar high, possible intermittent memory loss, and decidedly most interesting evening/morning. Not to be missed”, made in Westfield , NY .
Tha boys thought that was right funny, a lil wine couldn’t do no harm! Well, that’s what thinkin will do fer ya! All tha boys got looped fer shor! Thay was drunker than ten kinds of Indians, I tell ya. After thay dun polished off bout two bottles a piece an ate purt near ever cracker in thar; thay decided ta go on up in tha balcony as thar mamas would be a quizzin them on tha sermon ta see ifn thay was a listenin. Howard was tipsy like an missed a step an slid backards most of a flight of stairs till Walter caught him.
Jessie was higher than a kite an a grinnin like a possum eatin green persimmons an a Cheshire cat. Now, Walter an Buster was in a lil better shape but Walter dun put a extry bottle in his good Big Smith overalls. Buster says, Walter what ya got thar? Ole Walter pulled that bottle out an took him a big swig an offered it up ta Buster. Now Buster weren’t ta be outdone so he dun got him a good big slug or two. Well, Buster an Walter polished off that bottle of Mogan David in nuthin flat. Then, Walter jes plum went ta sleep; passed out colder than a wedge. Jessie was up ta a mite of fun an Howard was along fer tha ride but not hittin on all cylinders.
Thar was a ledge round tha stain glass winders jes wide enough fer a feller ta git round ta clean em on tha inside of tha sanctuary. Fer sum reason Jessie dun decided ta walk round it jes meanderin like nuthin ta it. Buster tried ta reach over an pull Jessie back an like ta fell over tha railin of tha balcony doin it. Howard was right on Jessie’s tail folloerin long like he had good sense; double trouble. Bout that time tha preacher looked up an hollered ta tha boys an said ta settle down an behave. Well, that dun it! Tha boys mamas an thar people thar all looked up with Buster a hangin over tha railin an Jessie sittin on tha ledge with his laigs a hangin over jes a danglin an ole Howard tetterin sumthin awful an bout ta fall; jes a swangin from tha rafters like a monkey. If ya didn’t think all hell broke loose that Sunday, y'all is shor wrong!
Men folk an tha boys mamas cum a flyin up them stairs lickety split!. After thay got all tha boys down from tha balcony an out in tha front yard; services kinda went downhill from thar ya know. Everbody was all a buzz bout tha boys showin out an all. Cum ta find out later, weren’t no grape wine but blackberry an ya jes couldn’t serve no blackberry wine fer communion. That thar wine had sit a spell an was a mite potent; more than usual. Tha preacher said he was glad thay found that out but them mamas was fit ta be tied. It took ta tha next day till tha boys sobered up, but when thay did a cum ta Jesus meetin was in full force. Tha boys got outa school that Monday but chores had ta be dun even if thay was set off center fer a spell. Thay boys' ole haids were swole up like a toad frog an mouths dry as cotton. Thay got drunk all over agin each time thay got em a drank of water too. Weren’t no picture show nor goin ta town on Saturday fer a month fer all of em an chores was piled on a mile high. Weren’t no board whopping behind tha barn though, thank goodness. Each of tha boys' pa was purty ruff with a board, switch or strap so thay was lucky thar. Guess thay figured thay was old nuf that other forms of punishment was better. Like Walter ropin an ridin in tha rodeo an Buster not drivin that ole Ford an Howard had his motorsicle sold (he got tha worst of it) an Jessie had ta can fer his mama an grandma an her widdered neighbor. Shuckin an cutting that corn off tha cob was worser than death fer him cause he dearly hated corn.
Hate ta say tha boys caused tha balcony ta be closed down, but it was. Weren’t no more wine used in communion no more neither; jes grape juice. Them crackers was real flavorful but thay was changed ta a awful tastin lil square of sum kind. All in all it was jes another notch in tha gun fer tha boys movin thru time. Thay have ben, an always will be tha talk of tha town an knowed far an wide. Why, when Buster an his mama went ta town a couple weeks later an thay was walkin down Main Street by tha pool hall; sum lil boy run up ta Buster an says “I wanta be jes like you”.
Buster like ta have fell out right thar! He goes back ta tha boys an tole em all thay jes didn’t know tha influence thay was havin on younguns; even thar own brothers an sisters. Thay said thay shor nuf had ta look out fer bein a bad example cause Tha Good Book spoke ta that.
Reckon all’s well that ends well an a lesson larned.
But don’t think fer a minute sumthin ain’t a stirin with them 4 boys. Guess everbody is a waitin ta see what happens next. Gotta step an fetch it as thay say; coffee’s boilin.
Now Buster was at tha First Christian Church but his grandma an grandpa Gus were Catholic but weren’t no Catholic church round bout them parts thar so thay went ta tha Methodist one with that new Smith feller that was preachin. Jessie dun went ta tha “Presbyterian or Episcopal church dependin on which side of tha family took him on Sunday’s. Howard was a Southern Baptist outrite an Walter’s people was all Catholic.
On this particular Sunday, all tha boys met up at tha First Christian Church with thar mamas an other kin. Thar was sum kinda goins on thar an so folks all got together fer this hear special meetin. Now I have ta say that sum of tha men folks did make an excuse or two not ta go ta church on Sunday’s but this wadn’t one of em.
Right off tha boys dun sneaked off ta tha balcony. Ya see tha First Christian Church has a balcony fer overflow thay say but weren’t nuthin but a place fer younguns ta git inta mischief. Well Buster gathered up tha boys an up thay went. First thang was Buster a showin all of tha boys whar thay kept tha communion wine. Back then it was real wine, Mogan David fer shor. Thar was crackers too in that closet an Walter dun had a hankerin ta taste that wine. Howard up an grabbed a bottle an popped tha top. As y’all know, tha boys knowed what white lightnin was all bout so a lil wine weren’t nuthin. Heck fire, Buster’s people all made wine an home brew! Well, thay all figured that nobody would ever miss a lil wine so all of em sit right down thar an had lil snort. Well, them crackers looked mighty tasty so thay ate sum of them too as Howard an Buster was a mite peckish. That ole Mogan David got ta tastin purty good an seein as how thar was several cases in that thar closet, tha boys figured nobody would be none tha wiser ifn thay had a lil. Jessie got ta readin a ditty that cum with tha wine; it was inside tha box.
It said, “Oh yes, this is THE source of the national known and touted yet locally obscure MD 20/20 (fka: Mad Dog 20/20). With multiple interesting flavors, Mogan David's concoctions will precipitate a quick onset of general drunkeness, a massive sugar high, possible intermittent memory loss, and decidedly most interesting evening/morning. Not to be missed”, made in Westfield , NY .
Tha boys thought that was right funny, a lil wine couldn’t do no harm! Well, that’s what thinkin will do fer ya! All tha boys got looped fer shor! Thay was drunker than ten kinds of Indians, I tell ya. After thay dun polished off bout two bottles a piece an ate purt near ever cracker in thar; thay decided ta go on up in tha balcony as thar mamas would be a quizzin them on tha sermon ta see ifn thay was a listenin. Howard was tipsy like an missed a step an slid backards most of a flight of stairs till Walter caught him.
Jessie was higher than a kite an a grinnin like a possum eatin green persimmons an a Cheshire cat. Now, Walter an Buster was in a lil better shape but Walter dun put a extry bottle in his good Big Smith overalls. Buster says, Walter what ya got thar? Ole Walter pulled that bottle out an took him a big swig an offered it up ta Buster. Now Buster weren’t ta be outdone so he dun got him a good big slug or two. Well, Buster an Walter polished off that bottle of Mogan David in nuthin flat. Then, Walter jes plum went ta sleep; passed out colder than a wedge. Jessie was up ta a mite of fun an Howard was along fer tha ride but not hittin on all cylinders.
Thar was a ledge round tha stain glass winders jes wide enough fer a feller ta git round ta clean em on tha inside of tha sanctuary. Fer sum reason Jessie dun decided ta walk round it jes meanderin like nuthin ta it. Buster tried ta reach over an pull Jessie back an like ta fell over tha railin of tha balcony doin it. Howard was right on Jessie’s tail folloerin long like he had good sense; double trouble. Bout that time tha preacher looked up an hollered ta tha boys an said ta settle down an behave. Well, that dun it! Tha boys mamas an thar people thar all looked up with Buster a hangin over tha railin an Jessie sittin on tha ledge with his laigs a hangin over jes a danglin an ole Howard tetterin sumthin awful an bout ta fall; jes a swangin from tha rafters like a monkey. If ya didn’t think all hell broke loose that Sunday, y'all is shor wrong!
Men folk an tha boys mamas cum a flyin up them stairs lickety split!. After thay got all tha boys down from tha balcony an out in tha front yard; services kinda went downhill from thar ya know. Everbody was all a buzz bout tha boys showin out an all. Cum ta find out later, weren’t no grape wine but blackberry an ya jes couldn’t serve no blackberry wine fer communion. That thar wine had sit a spell an was a mite potent; more than usual. Tha preacher said he was glad thay found that out but them mamas was fit ta be tied. It took ta tha next day till tha boys sobered up, but when thay did a cum ta Jesus meetin was in full force. Tha boys got outa school that Monday but chores had ta be dun even if thay was set off center fer a spell. Thay boys' ole haids were swole up like a toad frog an mouths dry as cotton. Thay got drunk all over agin each time thay got em a drank of water too. Weren’t no picture show nor goin ta town on Saturday fer a month fer all of em an chores was piled on a mile high. Weren’t no board whopping behind tha barn though, thank goodness. Each of tha boys' pa was purty ruff with a board, switch or strap so thay was lucky thar. Guess thay figured thay was old nuf that other forms of punishment was better. Like Walter ropin an ridin in tha rodeo an Buster not drivin that ole Ford an Howard had his motorsicle sold (he got tha worst of it) an Jessie had ta can fer his mama an grandma an her widdered neighbor. Shuckin an cutting that corn off tha cob was worser than death fer him cause he dearly hated corn.
Hate ta say tha boys caused tha balcony ta be closed down, but it was. Weren’t no more wine used in communion no more neither; jes grape juice. Them crackers was real flavorful but thay was changed ta a awful tastin lil square of sum kind. All in all it was jes another notch in tha gun fer tha boys movin thru time. Thay have ben, an always will be tha talk of tha town an knowed far an wide. Why, when Buster an his mama went ta town a couple weeks later an thay was walkin down Main Street by tha pool hall; sum lil boy run up ta Buster an says “I wanta be jes like you”.
Buster like ta have fell out right thar! He goes back ta tha boys an tole em all thay jes didn’t know tha influence thay was havin on younguns; even thar own brothers an sisters. Thay said thay shor nuf had ta look out fer bein a bad example cause Tha Good Book spoke ta that.
Reckon all’s well that ends well an a lesson larned.
But don’t think fer a minute sumthin ain’t a stirin with them 4 boys. Guess everbody is a waitin ta see what happens next. Gotta step an fetch it as thay say; coffee’s boilin.
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