BROTHERS
Buster an tha boys was jes visitin with Walter when thay was over ta tha house ta give Miz Ollinger some gifts fer her birthday from thar mamas. Buster's grandma dun give her a quilt she made fer her, Jessie's mama sent her a set of dolies an a cross stitched set of pillar covers fer thar bed an a fine set of bed clothas thay was. Howard's mama dun crocheted a afghan with her fav-o-rite colors; plus all manner of canned goods an a cake ta boot.
Well, Walter dun got ta telling bout hisn brothar, Kelvin, cause Kelvin dun got Walter inta trouble agin. Kelvin was his Pa's favorite of tha bunch of kids an he could do no wrong. Kelvin dun slipped up ta tha winder in tha kitchen an stole a mess of cookies Miz Ollinger had coolin. Kelvin dun give Walter a cookie an bout that time his Pa seen him a eatin that cookie an took after him with a willer switch. Walter tried ta tell him Kelvin dun give it ta him but his Pa figured he dun got Walter dead ta rights, an a switchin he got. Walter said ole Kelvin was fair haried allrite an begun ta tellin us a few of tha tales nobody never heared before. First of all, Kelvin was lots bigger than Walter an tussled with him morning ta night. Now tha older brothar, Mike, was a cute feller as thar was tha gals an wimmin folk said, an bout in between Walter an Kelvin in size. That boy was jes a natural born, real life, honest ta goodness, horse whisperer an genuwine cowboy. Always up fore daylight a sittin horseback an on tha range till dark thirty. Now ole Mike could hold his own too an didn't say much but ifn he couldn't walk away, then tha fight was on. Don't reckon he ever lost ta Walter's recollection. Anyhow back ta ole Kelvin. He jes laughed at Walter an smacked his lips eatin them cookies. Likable cuss he was an Walter dearly loved his brothar. BUT, he would crack him good when he got tha chance. Guess all that tusslin what was made Walter tuffer than boot leathar.
Walter tole tha boys he remembered tha time when tha High Sheriff thar in Groom had it in fer tha whole Ollinger Clan. Mainly cause of Kelvin as we were hearin. Once Kelvin an that Brittain boy got off ta tha auction with Kelvin's Pa. His Pa dun bid on an won a Ford truck motor. Believe it was a 460. Bigun you know. Well, Kelvin an Greg Brittain growed up togethar an thick as thieves them two was. Always at each othars side. Thay dun got drunker than a pole axed mule an 3 sheets ta tha wind ta boot. Well thay took on off after Kelvin's Pa left an went on back ta tha house. Thay was all over that road ya see, a spinnin wheels in that pickup truck an weavin an runnin off tha side of tha road an jes a hollerin an keepin thar snoots full. Well don't ya know thay dun throwed that 460 Ford motor plum outa tha back of that truck an didn't even know thay left it lay in tha middle of tha road. Thay jes kept on a drivin back ta town. As folks seed an shor nuff could testify jes like at Sunday meetin or tha Courthouse; that High Sheriff cum hightailin it down tha road an never even seed that motor smack dab in middle of tha road. Well, he hit that dang motor bout 80 I reckon an totaled out that Po-Leece car. Dun shoved tha radiator a spoutin steam an tha engine plum up in tha front seat. Bout that time Walter cum by an seed that High Sheriff all bumfuzzled an outa sorts. His seegar was all smashed in an spread all over his face an his glasses was all cockeyed too. He jes didn't know what hit him. Walter went on back ta tha house whar his Pa was taking a nap an roused him up; real careful like. Tole him Kelvin dun lost that motor he bought at tha auction outa tha back of tha pickup an left her on that road an that tha High Sheriff dun wrecked tha Po-Leece car when he run inta tha thang. Thay say durin that time word dun got round an Kelvin cum back with a winch truck an was a lookin fer that motor.
Couldn't find it cause it was knocked plum offa tha side of tha road in tha weeds an bushes. But you can bet yore bottom dollar that tha High Sheriff knowed who dun it when Kelvin cum by in that winch truck.
Nothar time Kelvin an Greg dun slipped up on that High Sheriff an tied a dead dog thay dun found on tha side of tha road ta his back bumper. Ole Sheriff Gaines was his name never knew it was back thar. Well, he dun run up an down main street with that dead dog a draggin behind till he wore him plum ta a nub. He wadn't too happy bout that neithar but didn't rightly know who dun it but figured rite, it was Kelvin. Wimmin was a hollerin all over town that tha Sheriff dun kilt that dog draggin him like he was an him not payin no never mind ta anything but his radio. Tha folks jes didn't know that dog was daid is all but it shor made that High Sheriff Gaines look awful bad in thar eyes not ta mention tha mess it made on tha street. Had ta call out tha Groom Volunteer Fire Dept. ta wash down tha street too. Folks talked bout Kelvin an his shenanigans all thay way out ta Californee. Walter dun got word bout it an he was a grinnin like tha cat that ate tha canary. Than Kelvin dun got peeved caused he felt like thay was a pickin on him; which thay was. Him an sum fellers, an ya jes know Greg was thar too, dun got in that ole Ford truck of hisn an a bit after midnight, run right on an plum thru that Po-leece's yard an thru his garden. Problem was that Po-leece feller dun left his lawnmower in tha garden an Kelvin an tha boys tore that thang inta a million pieces. Seems like tha war was on then. Tha High Sheriff shor nuf had it in fer them Ollingers then. Heck when Karen Jeanene was sparkin with Larry, he was a Brown boy an had a purty sister too, thay stopped em an give ole Larry a ticket fer speedin when he was parked out by tha South end of tha ball field with Karen Jeanene. Even warned him not ta chew no Juicy Fruit cause thay would git him fer litterin ifn he throwed tha paper wrappin or tha gum on tha ground! Tole him ta watch who he run round with too. Now Pamela Kay dun got her bicycle took ta tha courthouse caused it was parked on tha sidewalk by tha Dairy Queen. Now don't that beat all. Kelvin had smoke comin outa both nostrils an both ears too by that time, even if he did brang it on hisself. Him an ole Greg slipped up ta that High Sheriff Gaines' new car when he was gettin hisself a root beer float at tha DQ. Thay put boards with nails in em behind tha front an back tires an then cum round tha corner jes a squealin thar tires. Well that thar Sheriff cum a bustin thru tha door an jumped inta that new fancy Po-leece car an took off like a twister in April. Well guess what! 4 flat tires an runnin on tha rims. Had ta wait 3 days ta get new wheels an tires. Groom ain't very big ya know. Groom may be small but it's famous now! With tha Leanin Water Tower an tha biggest cross this side of Australia an all. Ole Kelvin was always doin sumthin. He dun put a bunch of cows in tha schoolhouse jes ta be funnin. Thay had a heck of time gettin em out cause thay'll go up stairs real easy like but comin down is anothar thang. Believe thay jes as soon jump outa winder as do that. Walter said he was on probation by tha County Judge till he married up with lil Lynette. Judge tole him his wife could take care of him from now on an keep him on tha straight an narrow. Ole Kelvin is still a mess, I tell ya, but still likable. Purty stout fer a farmer too. Reckon all them Ollinger younguns turned out jes fine. Karen Jeanene married up with Larry Brown. Guess ole Gaines didn't skeer him none, huh. She dun went ta hair parlor school an now has tha Griddle in town. Pamela Kay cum ta be a banker an married up too. Feller by tha name of Jerry Ashford. He is sum kinda spy fer tha government or sumthin, nobody ritely knows but he makes good money though. Buster's been tryin ta git that boy ta grin an tole Walter he'd give him a big huggem an squish him a bit an might jes git a grin like ole Kelvin did when Buster kissed his haid an told him he loved him right in tha middle of Walter's boy's weddin. Kelvin turned 4 shades of red but he needed it.
Mike kept on tendin cows an all an married a famous, good lookin woman. She was a basketball player an then went ta teachin. Guess Walter an Kelvin is purty close at that but since Walter got ta be fair size he ain't so easy ta whoop anymore. Bout 6'4" an 240 I'd say an jawbreaker hard.
After tha boys sat fer a spell Miz Ollinger cum outa tha kitchen an asked em in fer a bite fore thay left on out ta tha house. Shor was good eatin too ceptin Jessie don't like no chicken an dumplins so she fixed him a plate of pork chops. Kelvin run in an got most of them too plus Howard's sweet tater pie.
That boy is still a pickle I tell ya.
Well, Walter dun got ta telling bout hisn brothar, Kelvin, cause Kelvin dun got Walter inta trouble agin. Kelvin was his Pa's favorite of tha bunch of kids an he could do no wrong. Kelvin dun slipped up ta tha winder in tha kitchen an stole a mess of cookies Miz Ollinger had coolin. Kelvin dun give Walter a cookie an bout that time his Pa seen him a eatin that cookie an took after him with a willer switch. Walter tried ta tell him Kelvin dun give it ta him but his Pa figured he dun got Walter dead ta rights, an a switchin he got. Walter said ole Kelvin was fair haried allrite an begun ta tellin us a few of tha tales nobody never heared before. First of all, Kelvin was lots bigger than Walter an tussled with him morning ta night. Now tha older brothar, Mike, was a cute feller as thar was tha gals an wimmin folk said, an bout in between Walter an Kelvin in size. That boy was jes a natural born, real life, honest ta goodness, horse whisperer an genuwine cowboy. Always up fore daylight a sittin horseback an on tha range till dark thirty. Now ole Mike could hold his own too an didn't say much but ifn he couldn't walk away, then tha fight was on. Don't reckon he ever lost ta Walter's recollection. Anyhow back ta ole Kelvin. He jes laughed at Walter an smacked his lips eatin them cookies. Likable cuss he was an Walter dearly loved his brothar. BUT, he would crack him good when he got tha chance. Guess all that tusslin what was made Walter tuffer than boot leathar.
Walter tole tha boys he remembered tha time when tha High Sheriff thar in Groom had it in fer tha whole Ollinger Clan. Mainly cause of Kelvin as we were hearin. Once Kelvin an that Brittain boy got off ta tha auction with Kelvin's Pa. His Pa dun bid on an won a Ford truck motor. Believe it was a 460. Bigun you know. Well, Kelvin an Greg Brittain growed up togethar an thick as thieves them two was. Always at each othars side. Thay dun got drunker than a pole axed mule an 3 sheets ta tha wind ta boot. Well thay took on off after Kelvin's Pa left an went on back ta tha house. Thay was all over that road ya see, a spinnin wheels in that pickup truck an weavin an runnin off tha side of tha road an jes a hollerin an keepin thar snoots full. Well don't ya know thay dun throwed that 460 Ford motor plum outa tha back of that truck an didn't even know thay left it lay in tha middle of tha road. Thay jes kept on a drivin back ta town. As folks seed an shor nuff could testify jes like at Sunday meetin or tha Courthouse; that High Sheriff cum hightailin it down tha road an never even seed that motor smack dab in middle of tha road. Well, he hit that dang motor bout 80 I reckon an totaled out that Po-Leece car. Dun shoved tha radiator a spoutin steam an tha engine plum up in tha front seat. Bout that time Walter cum by an seed that High Sheriff all bumfuzzled an outa sorts. His seegar was all smashed in an spread all over his face an his glasses was all cockeyed too. He jes didn't know what hit him. Walter went on back ta tha house whar his Pa was taking a nap an roused him up; real careful like. Tole him Kelvin dun lost that motor he bought at tha auction outa tha back of tha pickup an left her on that road an that tha High Sheriff dun wrecked tha Po-Leece car when he run inta tha thang. Thay say durin that time word dun got round an Kelvin cum back with a winch truck an was a lookin fer that motor.
Couldn't find it cause it was knocked plum offa tha side of tha road in tha weeds an bushes. But you can bet yore bottom dollar that tha High Sheriff knowed who dun it when Kelvin cum by in that winch truck.
Nothar time Kelvin an Greg dun slipped up on that High Sheriff an tied a dead dog thay dun found on tha side of tha road ta his back bumper. Ole Sheriff Gaines was his name never knew it was back thar. Well, he dun run up an down main street with that dead dog a draggin behind till he wore him plum ta a nub. He wadn't too happy bout that neithar but didn't rightly know who dun it but figured rite, it was Kelvin. Wimmin was a hollerin all over town that tha Sheriff dun kilt that dog draggin him like he was an him not payin no never mind ta anything but his radio. Tha folks jes didn't know that dog was daid is all but it shor made that High Sheriff Gaines look awful bad in thar eyes not ta mention tha mess it made on tha street. Had ta call out tha Groom Volunteer Fire Dept. ta wash down tha street too. Folks talked bout Kelvin an his shenanigans all thay way out ta Californee. Walter dun got word bout it an he was a grinnin like tha cat that ate tha canary. Than Kelvin dun got peeved caused he felt like thay was a pickin on him; which thay was. Him an sum fellers, an ya jes know Greg was thar too, dun got in that ole Ford truck of hisn an a bit after midnight, run right on an plum thru that Po-leece's yard an thru his garden. Problem was that Po-leece feller dun left his lawnmower in tha garden an Kelvin an tha boys tore that thang inta a million pieces. Seems like tha war was on then. Tha High Sheriff shor nuf had it in fer them Ollingers then. Heck when Karen Jeanene was sparkin with Larry, he was a Brown boy an had a purty sister too, thay stopped em an give ole Larry a ticket fer speedin when he was parked out by tha South end of tha ball field with Karen Jeanene. Even warned him not ta chew no Juicy Fruit cause thay would git him fer litterin ifn he throwed tha paper wrappin or tha gum on tha ground! Tole him ta watch who he run round with too. Now Pamela Kay dun got her bicycle took ta tha courthouse caused it was parked on tha sidewalk by tha Dairy Queen. Now don't that beat all. Kelvin had smoke comin outa both nostrils an both ears too by that time, even if he did brang it on hisself. Him an ole Greg slipped up ta that High Sheriff Gaines' new car when he was gettin hisself a root beer float at tha DQ. Thay put boards with nails in em behind tha front an back tires an then cum round tha corner jes a squealin thar tires. Well that thar Sheriff cum a bustin thru tha door an jumped inta that new fancy Po-leece car an took off like a twister in April. Well guess what! 4 flat tires an runnin on tha rims. Had ta wait 3 days ta get new wheels an tires. Groom ain't very big ya know. Groom may be small but it's famous now! With tha Leanin Water Tower an tha biggest cross this side of Australia an all. Ole Kelvin was always doin sumthin. He dun put a bunch of cows in tha schoolhouse jes ta be funnin. Thay had a heck of time gettin em out cause thay'll go up stairs real easy like but comin down is anothar thang. Believe thay jes as soon jump outa winder as do that. Walter said he was on probation by tha County Judge till he married up with lil Lynette. Judge tole him his wife could take care of him from now on an keep him on tha straight an narrow. Ole Kelvin is still a mess, I tell ya, but still likable. Purty stout fer a farmer too. Reckon all them Ollinger younguns turned out jes fine. Karen Jeanene married up with Larry Brown. Guess ole Gaines didn't skeer him none, huh. She dun went ta hair parlor school an now has tha Griddle in town. Pamela Kay cum ta be a banker an married up too. Feller by tha name of Jerry Ashford. He is sum kinda spy fer tha government or sumthin, nobody ritely knows but he makes good money though. Buster's been tryin ta git that boy ta grin an tole Walter he'd give him a big huggem an squish him a bit an might jes git a grin like ole Kelvin did when Buster kissed his haid an told him he loved him right in tha middle of Walter's boy's weddin. Kelvin turned 4 shades of red but he needed it.
Mike kept on tendin cows an all an married a famous, good lookin woman. She was a basketball player an then went ta teachin. Guess Walter an Kelvin is purty close at that but since Walter got ta be fair size he ain't so easy ta whoop anymore. Bout 6'4" an 240 I'd say an jawbreaker hard.
After tha boys sat fer a spell Miz Ollinger cum outa tha kitchen an asked em in fer a bite fore thay left on out ta tha house. Shor was good eatin too ceptin Jessie don't like no chicken an dumplins so she fixed him a plate of pork chops. Kelvin run in an got most of them too plus Howard's sweet tater pie.
That boy is still a pickle I tell ya.
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